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TriggerFish
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Suck My Glock
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Tenring
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Suck My Glock
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Suck My Glock
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Suck My Glock
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Suck My Glock
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A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned the task of helping the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying copies, and not the original books.
So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out that if there was an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies. The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."
So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original. Hours later, nobody has seen him. So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. He hears sobbing coming from the back of the cellar and finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books crying. He asks what's wrong.
"You phuckers", he says, with anger and sadness in his eyes, "the word was celebrate!"
So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out that if there was an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies. The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."
So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original. Hours later, nobody has seen him. So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. He hears sobbing coming from the back of the cellar and finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books crying. He asks what's wrong.
"You phuckers", he says, with anger and sadness in his eyes, "the word was celebrate!"
Suck My Glock
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Suck My Glock
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An old man was sitting in front of the saloon as a dusty cowboy rode up and hitched his horse.
The old man watched the cowboy get off the saddle, hitch the horse and walk around to the hind end of the horse. Then the cowboy lifted the horse's tail, and he stuck his finger into the horses butthole. The cowboy then took out his finger, and smeared it over his lips.
The old man was flabbergasted, and almost fell off his bench watching this. He asked the cowboy, "Why in tarnation would you do that, stick your finger into the horse's butt, and smear that onto your lips?"
"Because I've got chapped lips!" replied the cowboy.
"Does it help heal 'em?" asked the old man.
"No, .... but it keeps me from licking them." replied the cowboy.
The old man watched the cowboy get off the saddle, hitch the horse and walk around to the hind end of the horse. Then the cowboy lifted the horse's tail, and he stuck his finger into the horses butthole. The cowboy then took out his finger, and smeared it over his lips.
The old man was flabbergasted, and almost fell off his bench watching this. He asked the cowboy, "Why in tarnation would you do that, stick your finger into the horse's butt, and smear that onto your lips?"
"Because I've got chapped lips!" replied the cowboy.
"Does it help heal 'em?" asked the old man.
"No, .... but it keeps me from licking them." replied the cowboy.
Suck My Glock
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A man with no arms went to a monastery to apply for a job as a bell ringer
The monk told him but sir, you have no arms, how will you ring the bell?
The man said, " just lead me to the bell and I'll show you."
So they walked up the long stairwell that led to the top of the belfry. Once at the top, the man walked over to the bell to get a good look at it. He then proceeded back up against the furthest wall and leapt into a sprint, face first into the bell.
He plummeted 65 feet below to his death. Tragically, no sound came from the bell.
When the police arrived an hour later, they asked the monk if he knew the man.
The monk simply said, "No. His face doesn't ring a bell either."
But wait, there's more...
The next day another man with no arms showed up at the monastery and told the monk "Yesterday the man who died here was my brother. This was his lifelong dream. If it's ok with you, I'd like to try just once for him."
The monk certainly couldn't refuse and slowly led the man up the long stairwell.
Once at the top the man walked over to the bell. He kissed the spot where his brother's face hit the bell just a day before and walked back to the edge of the furthest wall.
The priest watched in horror as once again a man hurled himself face first towards the bell, but at the last minute the man tucked his chin, stopped at the last moment and slammed his head into the side of the bell.
The bell rang with the loudest clang the countryside had heard in years. In fact, it was so loud the man cried out in agonizing pain, lost his balance and fell to his death below.
Once again the police showed up, and once again asked the monk if he knew the man's name to which the monk replied, "no, but he's a dead ringer for his brother."
I'll show myself out.
The monk told him but sir, you have no arms, how will you ring the bell?
The man said, " just lead me to the bell and I'll show you."
So they walked up the long stairwell that led to the top of the belfry. Once at the top, the man walked over to the bell to get a good look at it. He then proceeded back up against the furthest wall and leapt into a sprint, face first into the bell.
He plummeted 65 feet below to his death. Tragically, no sound came from the bell.
When the police arrived an hour later, they asked the monk if he knew the man.
The monk simply said, "No. His face doesn't ring a bell either."
But wait, there's more...
The next day another man with no arms showed up at the monastery and told the monk "Yesterday the man who died here was my brother. This was his lifelong dream. If it's ok with you, I'd like to try just once for him."
The monk certainly couldn't refuse and slowly led the man up the long stairwell.
Once at the top the man walked over to the bell. He kissed the spot where his brother's face hit the bell just a day before and walked back to the edge of the furthest wall.
The priest watched in horror as once again a man hurled himself face first towards the bell, but at the last minute the man tucked his chin, stopped at the last moment and slammed his head into the side of the bell.
The bell rang with the loudest clang the countryside had heard in years. In fact, it was so loud the man cried out in agonizing pain, lost his balance and fell to his death below.
Once again the police showed up, and once again asked the monk if he knew the man's name to which the monk replied, "no, but he's a dead ringer for his brother."
I'll show myself out.
TriggerFish
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Tenring
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Really like Wendy Rodgers
Tenring
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Tenring
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