Hmmmm, I guess I need one of these

[Suck My Glock]

Gotta keep up with Jones. Maybe I'll get a green one, or red. I'm not sure.

[Ballistic Therapy]

Just what everyone needs.
A bird to crap down the back of your shirt.

[smithers599]

He overheard some girl saying, "I could always use a good cock or two."
He figured a parrot is close enough.

[smithers599]

Is that a Norwegian Blue?
Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue. Beautiful plumage.

[Cmoor]

Just what everyone needs.
A bird to crap down the back of your shirt.

Right on top of your gun...

[XJThrottle]

Is the bird blading at a 45?..